Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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