nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
