Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
