hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Im just a social blackout drinker.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize