last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
