DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Randomize