Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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