R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
