She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
