yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
