I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
