hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
It's never too late to be topless.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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