What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
