Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
