West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
You left your phone here
Wait...
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