i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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