When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
