i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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