Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
