Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
