Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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