her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Randomize
