She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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