I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
