Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
