Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
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