only you would photoshop your dick
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
