It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Sorry about my life...
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
