Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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