Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize