dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Randomize