Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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