she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
