who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
