i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
