The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
