Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
