what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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