I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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