Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
