i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
