It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
