so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
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