It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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