The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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