I seem to have left my pride at pride
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
