my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize