Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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