Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
