...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
