Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
