I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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