Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
