he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
