Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
