I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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