my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I bet he comes in French.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
