I just saw a hot homeless man
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
