what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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