turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
