Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Randomize
