It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
