the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
